One of my first blogs back was going to be a letter to my friends and family. It was going to be an apology. An apology that I felt I’ve needed to make since Little B was born. There’s been a little adjusting to do in my life and as such, my attention to my social life has slipped, the time I put into my relationships has dipped and typically, this makes me feel terrible. Anyway, as I said, this was meant to be an apology. That was, before one of my best friends text me and said “you need to stop worrying and just be you, be happy”. It was then I realised that I didn’t need to apologise because those closest to me, just understood. So instead, I write my thank you. A thank you to all those friends and all my family who have supported me through it all.
Dear friends and family,
Thank you for everything you’ve done and continue to do; for the support you give me, not daily but hourly, 24/7, whenever I need you.
Thank you for your unconditional love when I have none for myself, for your reassurance, your patience and your kindness just when I’m running on empty.
Thanks for your understanding, for stepping back but for also stepping in.
I don’t intend to hide my struggle that I’ve had to date and I’m not particularly proud of it (despite the fact that it shows I just want to do my best allll the time) but I will own it and I will move on from it, thanks to you!
I haven’t been the best friend, sister, aunty, granddaughter, niece, daughter or wife lately but it’s because I’ve been trying to be the best mum I can be and I thank you for understanding that.
I didn’t get all my thank you cards out (despite making a list of all the cards and gifts we received), I haven’t remembered everyone’s birthdays, I haven’t bought cards or cakes or presents. I don’t always text back, I’ve struggled to make time but whenever I message or reach out to you, you reach straight back with the same amount of love you always have.
So thank you, for letting me parent my way, never judging me and for making me feel like what I’ve always wanted to be…the best mum in the world.
I love you all. X